Couples Therapy in Union

Are You Struggling With Your Relationship?

Do you and your spouse feel more like roommates than a married couple?

Does it seem like the love you used to share has faded?

Have one or both of you struggled with feeling alone or hopeless for too long?

You might realize that both of you have become unfulfilled, with conversations leaving you deflated and discouraged rather than supported and uplifted. While you both might be very committed to making your relationship work, it can feel like you have tried and tried and nothing seems to help.

Luckily, couples therapy intensives can help provide the guidance, clarity, and understanding you need to reconnect emotionally and physically, so that you can rediscover the love that brought you together in the first place.

A couple who looks like they are in a stressful disagreement.

Relationship Troubles Can Impact Every Part Of Your Life

When you are in the middle of relationship turmoil and stuck in a rut, your day-to-day life may have become lonely and joyless. Ineffective communication might leave your ongoing issues in daily arguments, gridlocked, or worse, in chilly silence. You both might have unrealistic expectations for one another, naming and blaming, instead of getting to the root of your issues, your mutual dreams, needs, and desires.

You might think, “We love each other, we are just out of sync and never solve anything. If we could just communicate, then we would be great.” But what no one told you is that one of the biggest problems to tackle as a couple is LIFE itself.

Therapy can help you gain a greater perspective on what truly has been bringing you down as a couple, providing personalized strategies to help you get back on the same page and tackle your conflicts so you can heal and bond again.

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A couple unpacking dishes in a kitchen, looking at each other.

Relationships Come Ready For Conflict

Despite having a nice family and a home, as well as mutual respect, it’s easy for life to get in the way and put up roadblocks to a happy marriage. While there may be points when a couple feels in complete unison, two people creating one life sets the stage for so many things they must manage and navigate together.

Change and growth can be very challenging, especially during the middle stages of the relationship, when competing motivations about work, family, housework, and hobbies are present. In reality, no one teaches us that to be in a long and happy relationship, we need a set of tools to navigate our whole lives with a partner. A marriage counselor can help you grow that toolkit.

Some Problems Are Perpetual, But They Don’t Have To Be Dealbreakers

It might be saddening to learn that not all problems are solvable. Most relationship problems (69 percent) never truly get resolved in a traditional compromise or turn-taking way, but are managed with planned skills that help both partners stay solid in their communication and coping abilities.

Based on a longitudinal couples research study by The Gottman Institute, these ‘perpetual’ issues are usually rooted in core beliefs and different personality styles between partners. While this study might seem daunting, it is more a sign that it’s possible to make relationships work despite “unresolvable” issues.

I can help you navigate what you’ve gone through, using evidence-based methods to help you work together in couples therapy and move forward with hope and optimism to create a relationship you both enjoy being in.

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Couples Therapy With Monica Houttuin

I’ve been helping couples re-establish their connection and intimacy for over 30 years. I offer intensive couples therapy that can help you and your partner express yourselves more effectively and truly understand one another so you can repair, reconnect, and revitalize your relationship.

Almost everyone who comes to marriage counseling generally agrees that they need to communicate better, and they are 100 percent right! In my practice, you will learn that:

Communication and problem-solving skills do not come naturally, but are so important to de-escalate conflict, rebuild trust, and remain sensitive to both your needs as a couple.
Effective emotional regulation is an important part of building a solid foundation to strengthen your attachment, allowing you to be there for one another.
Barriers to emotional and physical closeness can create issues with intimacy, and therapy can help you explore those obstacles through guided conversations and practical tools.

A couple sitting in couples therapy on a couch together.

Proven Evidence-Based Modalities To Help You Reconnect And Heal

I teach my couples many of the key skills in the Gottman Relationship Method, which lead to core foundational growth in a relationship, as well as how to stay calm, listen, repair, and communicate.

Additionally, I utilize Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a method that has been shown in multiple research studies to help 70–75 percent of couples move from distress to a calmer state.

The Developmental Model for Couples informs much of my practice as well. This model views relationship issues as normal challenges arising from predictable developmental stages, focusing on individual growth and the simultaneous growth of the relationship. Couples will learn to manage their differences while making healthy choices to maintain their connection.

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An older man hugging an older woman from behind.

Why Couples Intensives?

Traditional talk therapy can help couples with long-term struggles, but for relationships that need to tackle what truly matters, NOW, an intensive can make the difference.

An intensive arrangement provides ample time to discuss what’s truly important, with more structure and calm to see the topics through.

The time commitment for an intensive that allows us to get to the heart of the matter immediately can range from a minimum of three hours to a full five-hour day, or up to two, five-hour days. (With breaks, of course!)
You’ll engage in personalized activities and therapy sessions backed by research. These counseling methods are designed to heal emotional wounds, rebuild your relationship, and rekindle lost intimacy.
Whether you’re recovering from infidelity, struggling with communication, or feeling like roommates without a spark, couples therapy is designed to address your specific challenges, helping you start healing right away.

Reconnection And Joy Are Possible Again

While you may be feeling lost and hopeless in your relationship struggles, my couples counseling process can truly help you find your way again. I can help you renew your bond, your friendship, and remember the feelings of excitement you once had. I can help you plan actual “We time,” rekindle intimacy, and keep you both invested in the relationship. With focus, hope, and trust in the process, it is absolutely possible to fully reconnect as a loving couple again.

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You Might Still Have Questions Or Concerns About Couples Therapy…

I am concerned therapy won’t help us as a couple, as our problems are too difficult.

You might think you should be able to figure all this out on your own without a marriage therapist, but it is very likely that you haven’t been taught the skills to navigate relationship challenges. Maybe you are afraid that if you open Pandora’s box by closely looking at your relationship, it will somehow make everything worse. No matter the circumstances, I am an objective third party who would never tell you that it is a lost cause. I will only help you understand each other better and teach you the skills to communicate and heal.

I am concerned about the cost of therapy.

All marriage counseling involves the investment of time, money, and heart. You may have tried over and over again to fix your issues on your own, but investing in efficiently solving your relationship struggles and communication issues through couples counseling can help prevent even more damage from occurring. Therapy can help you both feel better, faster than if you toughed it out or just hoped things would improve. Additionally, please review my pricing on my FAQ page.

We’ve tried couples counseling before, and it didn’t help. What makes your practice different?

If you experienced what I call “passive” therapy in the past, where all your previous couples counselor did was watch you fight or encourage you to complain while doing nothing new to help, you probably had poor or unpredictable results. It is my philosophy as a couples therapist who provides exclusively intensive arrangements that couples need the time, space, and specialist care to do the work of repairing, rebonding, and rekindling. The right methods at the right time can level up a couple’s skill, bond, and intimacy in days, not months, and in a powerfully moving ways.

Let’s Help Reconnect And Rebuild Your Marriage In Couples Therapy

To get started, reach out for a free 25-minute consultation.

Because staying stuck in the same communication patterns is like being on a treadmill—you’re working hard, but you’re not actually moving forward.

A consultation is a simple, straightforward, and pressure-free way to see if counseling can help you and your partner find even footing to walk a peaceful path forward, together.

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